Let me make one thing very clear. Pigs suck. There is just no other possible conclusion. Do you want to know why? I'll tell you why. Remember a couple of posts back, when I weighed the pros and cons of showing pigs? Well, yesterday I was a millimeter away from nulling all of the pros on my list, except getting money. That one still held true.
You may be asking yourself, 'What could possibly have happened to make her so mad at pigs?'. And I will answer, 'You probably don't even want to know, but I shall tell you in great detail anyways.' In this way, my story shall begin.
My dad told me yesterday before leaving for work that before he got back, he expected me to have gone outside and worked on training my pigs. So I inwardly groaned, but trudged out to the barn, intending on moving the pigs into a different stall so that I could clean their pen, then work with them a little. This did not happen. You see, for some unknown reason, one of the three pigs was already in the other stall, so I had to get the other two in with her. Easier said than done, for when I got the others out of the pen to come to the stall, they refused to go into it, and then the other pig also escaped through the open stall door. The other two finally went inside, but the third was still running amok.
I closed the stall door, but did not latch it. You will soon know why this was a fatal mistake. I chased after the other pig, and then it found a way outside, and was running around outside the barn. It then ran right into the area where we have all of the outside pig pens. I thought, 'Oh, perfect! I shall simply put this pig in one of these pens!'. That did not happen. It refused to go into a pen, and then ran out of the opening in the fencing that allows all of the pig muck to drain out of the pens. Right into a four foot deep sludge puddle of pig crap and who knows what else, though pig crap alone is plenty.
Let me tell you something. Pig crap is quite possibly the most disgusting substance on earth. I am in no way joking. And that sludge is like quick sand. Do you want to know how I know? When we went on vacation, we had people who ride horses at our barn taking care of our animals for us. One day, one of them decided to take a 'shortcut' around the pig pens to make feeding faster. She fell into the sludge puddle. Up to her knees. She couldn't get out by herself. She had to call her husband to come pull her out. Then she had to be hosed off, and I don't even want to know what her car smelled like by the time she got home. Her expensive running shoes had to be thrown out. I am telling you, that stuff is like toxic waste.
So, when the pig fell into the sludge, I chose to simply block off the entrance to the pens and leave. By that point, I was so mad that I was secretly hoping she would drown in the sludge. But she climbed out while I was closing off the pens.
I then returned to the barn to find the other two had cleverly opened up their stall door, and were also running amok through the barn. I stuffed them into the nearest stall and then went and cried in the goat pen. It took twenty minutes of baby goat cuddling to make me feel up to walking around again.
I was in a terrible mood for the rest of the day, and it didn't help that I was also suffering from exhaustion, having not been on a normal sleep schedule for nearly a month, and I had a terrible pounding headache, and got dizzy every time I moved too quickly.
To add to all of that, when my dad got home, he started freaking out that I left a pig outside, not in a pen. So we had to go out there and find it. The pig was so stupid that she had walked into a pen and hadn't been able to figure out how to get the unlatched gate open again, so she was just sitting in a pen when we got out there. Whoever made up the ridiculous rumor that pigs are actually very intelligent was probably stupider than pigs are, which puts them at about the same level of intelligence as a rock.
Oh, and you know what? When we later went out to do barn chores, guess what? I still had to clean the pig pen.
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